Day 33 - Still Blogging!

Well, I have been a blogger for one full official month! And I have to say, who knew it would be so much work!?!?! I have been investigating other blogs to see what my fellow blogger out in the blogisphere is up to, I have contributed to my own blog minimum once a week, and as a dutiful blog follower, I have spread the gospel of blog to my non-believing father (who was, ahem, delighted to receive a blog and book on blogging for his birthday.) I even read a teen novel called, "Confessions of a Boyfriend Stealer: a Blog" which was fun. As far as the success of my blog, I have had numerous regular commentators - though only friends and family so far. Though I have had one person come and comment on my blog who was a complete stranger! I have reached out to the void and found a hand reaching back! I didn't know it would be so time-consuming to become a member of your world bloggers. Writing that much regular, and hopefully thoughtful content is really a bitch! (well, maybe writing major lists of movie reviews was a bit ambitious for a newbie) I may not get all of you bloggers out there, my journey may have only just begun, but thank you for letting me get to know you. And as we leap over the precipice of a new year, here's to continuing the journey!

Happy New Year!

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Day 19 - Blogging on the road.

Am out of town today. Road trip with the parents to go see my sis get hooded for her doctorate (yay sis!). I can't resist the urge to blog on the road, just because I can! I have my free wireless internet here at Best Western, I am downloading and burning audiobooks, I am emailing the hubby to give him a status update, and I am updating my blog. Am such a cool and modern chick.

On a more bloggy note (see? the F word is not the only word that can be used in so many forms... example: "I blogged my bloggy blog"), I want to share a blog I found that I am really kind of obsessed with. Check out PostSecret! It is a blog that collects anonymously mailed, home-made postcards that each tell the sender's secret. I am so amazed at how artful these cards are and how poignant their words. It's amazing what beauty comes of simple honesty; the kind that comes from the soul. They have even held exhibits at art galleries of the secrets collected by PostSecret. They also have a book showcasing part of their collection. Check it out! It really is something. And, like me, I am sure you will be checking every Sunday to see this week's secrets.

I posted something new (the beginning on a series of posts about 80s films) on P&C the other day. It's the first of several top 20 lists of 80s films. Trouble is, I am realizing how much work it is to create and write such a list! So it is taking me quite a while to write the next one. I am in awe of my cousin Colleen's blog, since she writes something substantial every day!

Well, ok, I am done burning the audiobook, and I no longer have an excuse to blog my bloggy blog.

Just had a thought: I think the phrase "burning the midnight oil" should be updated to "burning the midnight audiobook." ;)
Back to the full blog...

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Day 17 - Adding Images & Design

I am so jealous of some of the other blogs and their cool design, so little by little, I am starting to add some to mine. Check out P&C. I have added my photo to my profile, and then today I designed a new logo/title for the blog. Isn't it sweet? Ok, so I am still not excited about the blog design itself, so down the road I will mess with that a bit too. Work in progess....

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Some Evidence to the Contrary

A very moving story through blogging about a woman's experience as being on one of the bombed trains in London. The July Archive of her blog details her experience. I was so moved reading it that I nearly cried. This is also one example of how a blog can do good. Because of her blog, many of the other victims have been able to find each other , find hope, and find support. Wow. It's not all mundanity and minutia is it?

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Day 11 - What is the written-word version of voyeurism?

Today- since i am sick in bed, I decided to give myself an exercise for my blog: read some other blogs. After all, I can't really judge what other people do with blogs if I haven't looked at very many. I need a bigger sample of data, right? So I started hitting the "next blog" button on the blogger website. Hmmm... definitely don't do this unless you are over 18. The first thing I notice is that there are a lot of blogs in spanish and portuguese. In fact, nearly as many as English. And none so far in French or German, or Faroese, that I have seen. Next I notice that lots of people want to be involved in the porn industry. There are lots of amateur porn blogs. Then I start to notice that I was mostly right (at least so far) about blogs, blogs are just journals for the most part, and generally aren't written with particular quality or substance. Isn't it curious that we went from hidden journals with little locks on them to posting our heart's secrets online? I found a fun quote on one of the blogs:

"Blogger: Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives."

Ha! I wasn't far off the mark, huh? Actually, ok, so I have seen my bro-in-law Bret's blog, my cousin colleen's blog, and my friend Melinda's blog. None of them are like that. Bret & Melinda's are essentially travel blogs, and Colleen's is a writer/book review blog. But so far, when I randomly look through the corridors of Blogville and peep through the windows, what I see is: people are lost. They want to be heard. They want their minutia of mundanity to be significant somehow. The other thing I am noticing? I want to hear them! Most of them truly are mundane and uninteresting. Filled with talk of getting up early today because I was thirsty or I think I love phantom of the opera because it has great music or they are filled with the latest pictures of their world. But to look at faces you don't know and to try and decipher the characters and settings and to see what other's do in their private lives is tantalizing. Then I come across the following post:

this makes me want to scream and shout and starve myself... feel disgusting inside. completely inadaquit. you love me but im not your fantasy there are things that i am not that turn you on. you never push this on me you love me the way i am. we just f****d. i dont have great legs, i have an okay ass but i could be better. whatever you love me and im not a fantasy... im a reality. we buy toilet paper together i m still sexy and hot. as hot as her which makes me feel good. insecurities will tear me apart. hopefully not us. never us. i dont care you have what you want im happy to give it to you. i m gonna be supportive... im gonna be awesome. i want to tell you that im the only one of me and dont forget it. im the best thing youve ever come across... its gonna stay that way. god i love you and you love me you were so excited about me yesterday and today and tomorrow.. cant get enough of me. god i love you! sometimes not the most fun... but i love you constantly. mmmm. youre the best.

I love the obscurity of it. At first I think, how ridiculous! This post is titled "No.22" the previous one "No.21" and so on... The language and style is the same for every post. This one interests me, more than the others. This one is true honesty. This is raw feeling and really peering into someone's soul at a given moment. This is more than "uh... yeah, so this morning sucked cuz my cat peed on the couch, and at work, my boss yelled at me..." that is truly mundane and inane. But this... this is more. Probably doesn't do anything for most of you at first glance either. But don't deny the voyeur in you. You are fascinated by it too.
Back to the full blog...

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Day Four - Focus Issues

I can see how someone would become addicted to doing something like this. I have found I suddenly have the urge to go online and write about my experiences a lot. Most of the urges are about movies or my experience blogging, but sometimes I get it about daily crap and I have to stop myself. But there is also a loophole in my strict blogging rules: I can write anything I want in the comments areas. Hmm... sneaky. Interesting that I don't have the same feelings about what I write in there. I am not worried about being profound or using great language (that just comes naturally anyway - ha!), but I do enjoy some of the discussion that goes on in there, so keep it coming guys!

The biggest thing I am noticing since I started this blog is that I have become unfocused suddenly, though I would hardly expect that to be a universal experience. For some time I have suspected that I have ADD. And for the past few years I have found it a nearly impossible task to read a novel (or long/academic articles) which has been particularly sad for me since it has always been one of my favorite things to do. I thought that once school had finished I would have more focus again and I would be able to read. But no such luck. It wasn't until last week sometime that I finally found enough focus again to suddenly whip right through the second 2/3 of Life of Pie, and 1st half of A Town Like Alice in a matter of a couple of days. My theory was that it was the fact that I have been working so hard on my editing, and working with a strict schedule that gave me more structure in my life. Now - the focus is gone again. Can't turn off the racing thoughts. Can't tell my eyes where to look on the page. Thinking about writing all the time, I haven't been able to read my book (though I have tried) since Day 1 of blogging. My new theory is the creative juices are pouring out of control. I think when I have any untapped creative energy (or stress - though that's not it right now) that that is what causes my mind to wander uncontrollably. Thank God (or gods) that I can still watch movies because otherwise this would just make me lose my mind. Hopefully when I have relaxed in my position as blogger, and written a bit more of my ideas, that this will calm down so I can finish reading my current book and move on to the next one. (I was really into this one too, I so want to read it!)

I have been working on an essay for Popcorn and a Coke (henceforth to be known as PAAC, or P&aC, or PC, or P&C, hmm I think I like that last one best, anyone else?) for a couple of days. But I got a little stuck yesterday. And I wonder how worth it it is to do a little research and check sources for something like this. I mean, yeah, I am treating it as practice for my analytic writing etc., but ultimately how much should I worry about what I write in a blog that is so far only read by a small, tiny fraction of my family & friends.

That brings me to another point - I have thus far been too embarassed to send my blog(s) to everyone on my list. Maybe my courage will pick up soon. I just still feel pretty stupid, and vulnerable doing this. You know, when I was in school, I always felt that I had put a little of my soul into even my most formal papers and I refused to allow my fellow students to read anything I had written. What I wrote was reserved only for the eyes of the teacher. And that was only because she gave the grade, if I could have avoided that I would have. Since then, I have done three workshop-style writing classes in college. A creative-writing class, an advanced paper-writing class, and a screen-writing class. In each of these I was forced to allow other students to read and comment on my work, and give me suggestions for revision. I was completely shocked to find that I actually enjoyed this, so I was pretty much cured of my previous condition. But yet I don't want to advertise my blogs yet. Go figure.

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